Much of my life has been spent worrying about what someone else thought. Doing what someone else wanted. Liking what someone else liked. So much so that I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up, or even how I wanted to spend my days.
My life didn’t work out like I had originally planned. I was going to university, would get my BA and then become a teacher. I would teach French and Canadian History. The end.
I got to university, and it wasn’t as easy as I had expected. I wasn’t happy and I didn’t do well. I failed French. I was there because I was supposed to be, it was what I thought everyone expected me to do. I wasn’t there because I wanted to be or because I was doing something that I loved. I was trying to keep everyone else happy and in the process I lost sight of what I wanted. What I was forgetting was to stop and find out what I loved, what was passionate about, what made me happy
I don’t ever regret going when I did and doing what I did. It was there that I met my amazing husband, and because of him that we have our daughter. If it weren’t for the choices I made then I wouldn’t be where I am now. When we had our daughter it forced us to stop and reevaluate our path. It meant him going back to school and me putting school in the side burner. It took me a little longer, 14 years to be honest. I switched to the BBA program and I was lucky to get an amazing job before I finished school. I refused to give up on my education, at first because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, but as time went on, because it was what I wanted.
It wasn’t until I decided I was finishing school for ME that I started doing well, that I started enjoying what I learned and absorbing it. Sure, some of the courses were required to graduate, but many were ones that I was interested in and that I wanted to take. I started to enjoy it when I stopped trying to be who I thought everyone else thought I should be and started making decisions based on what was best for me and my little family. I will finally finish this June. I am finally learning what I love about life and how I like to spend my days.
I listened to Steve Job’s Stanford address twice today. What he said that day was so important and I wish I could have listened to it fourteen years ago. The line that struck home the most for me was “don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” It is a reminder to listen to my heart, trust my intuition more and worry less about the opinions of everyone else. I might have stopped trying so hard to live the life I thought someone else thought I should be living and been my authentic self a lot sooner. Life is too short not to follow my heart.